Darkness and Shadows
by this SHIP of FOOLS
Summary: A Lily II Centric fic about darkness, baisically. It's pretty angsty and can be interpreted in many ways. It has three sections, and no happy ending.


**A/N: This is my first angsty fic ever! Not sure if I should be excited or conserned, considering I'm a fluff maniac most of the time! Also, I don't really care if you chose not to read this because it's well... It's angst. Even I skip angst and prefer to read the happier stuff! But, if you _did _come here to read an angsty LilyLuna-Centric fanfic, feel free to keep reading! Also, sorry for the incredibly long authors note! **

**Please keep in mind that this fic can be perceived and read in many different ways, so some of you might think of it was being afraid of the dark or maybe some of you will think of something darker.**

**DICLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARECTERS THAT I WRITE, NOT WILL I EVER. I'M JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH THEM AND MAKING THEIR LIVES MISERABLE FOR NO REASON IN PARTICULAR.**

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Lily, the sheltered little girl, the timid, careful teenager, the broken young woman. Because even the precise planning and the measured expressions did nothing to stop her from getting hurt. Sometimes, she thought, it made it worse.

…

The little child, the tiny eight year old who knew too little. Just enough, though, to be frightened when she tried to go to sleep. The darkness of the night seeped into her mind and, though she knew not why, made her go to her parent's room at night to sleep in their arms. Eventually, it got to the point where even the safety of her parents did nothing to calm her racing heart, even though the shadows were nothing menacing in and of themselves, but something about the darkness, something associated with it seemed to reach out to her very heart and call icy, spears of terror to her body. The even greater malice was the fact that she didn't even know what she was afraid of, just that something terrible had happened in that dark, and maybe what ever it was could happen to her.

Even the shield of her father's arms and the guard of her mother's did nothing to keep away the constant fear of the unknown dark. The sheltered innocence was slowly combined with the night, and the fears.

The little child wrapped her blankets tighter around her, looking for warmth, as if heat could take away the shadows. So, little Lily Luna Potter shut her eyes tight and tried her best to go to sleep, praying that the shadow-men wouldn't steal her light, the last bit of hope she had left.

…

She was fourteen and even though she could stay awake and read by wand-light, she knew she had to go to sleep. But with the darkness, she couldn't. The darkness that would be fine if it was completely black, a solid mass, but it wasn't. It was shadows, and she couldn't stop her mind from thinking of all the bad things that could happen to her, or her family, or her friends. The darkness just seemed to consume everything at this hour, and in her mind it would be too easy for someone to come into her room and creep upon her to do some terrible deed. The wizards her father had told her about plagued her memories and dreams, as she lay in bed that night, perfectly safe, yet still fearful. Because the moon light wasn't light enough to be of any use should an attacker come, and the shadows weren't dense enough to hide a scared little girl. Because in the black of night, Lily Luna Potter's bedroom is coloured in shades of grey, and even the safety of her own house cannot penetrate the darkness of her haunted mind.

…

The young adult, finally a woman, able to take care of herself. When she finally reached her seventeenth birthday, she thought all her troubles would be over. But, no, they had only just begun.

In the black of night, yet another monster haunted her mind. In her life she'd discovered that even the things that plagued her dreams when she was young didn't matter. No, there were things much worse. The things to really be afraid of were people. Yes, fellow people could do you the most harm. Because you underestimate them, think they care just as much as you do, when really they're taking advantage of your trusting heart. Blindly trusting, because they're only people and what harm could they do you, really? And even your careful, precise, politeness would only bait them, instead of keeping them away.

So now you've found yourself in the same position you were years ago, laying in your bed, mayhap a bit bigger one, in your room, not your childhood one, yet still just as dark, curled up in your blankets as if they could sheild you from the man coming home to tear out your heart again. And you let him because he didn't mean to, gave him your heart willingly, in the hopes that this one would be better than the last. So, yet again, you're laying there, one with the shadows. Because maybe if you become a shadow, your heart will not hurt anymore. Maybe if you're fading, a transluctent blur, then no one will see you to pull you back from the darkness and pretend that they aren't going to send you back again. Because the darkness that you used to be so afraid of is really a much better companion than the false, bright days that your heart so yearns for. Maybe if the blackness is dense enough, strong enough, it will take you and your heart with it when the sun comes and the shadows dissapear to the bright, true world of reality, where broken women like Lily Luna Potter are not invisible, and are not overlooked, and are too bright, just like her dark heart that reaches for the sun, only to be pulled back once more.

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**HOW COULD I HAVE WRITTEN SOMETHING THIS SAD?**

**It's weird because I just watch Valentine's Day...**


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